My friend or relative is looking for help

What your friend or relative may need

Every situation is different. Listening, without pressure to talk, and offering practical support can make a real difference to someone who has just disclosed an assault.

Supporting a friend or relative after a sexual assault can feel uncertain, particularly when you are unsure what to say or how to help. The most valuable thing you can do is simply be present. Let them share as much or as little as they wish, in their own words and at their own pace, without interrupting, questioning or rushing them. Avoid asking what happened in detail, since this can retraumatise, and steer clear of blame, doubt or comparisons to other situations. When someone discloses, they are looking for someone who will listen without judgement and who will believe them.

Practical support often matters more than perfect words. Offering a lift, a quiet space, a phone call later or simply company without talking can all be meaningful. Everyday tasks such as shopping, childcare or appointments may become difficult in the aftermath, and helping with these can reduce pressure on the person. It is also worth asking directly what would be helpful rather than assuming, and checking in regularly even after the initial conversation. Some people find it useful to have a trusted person accompany them to appointments or to speak with professionals on their behalf, if that is what they want.

There are specialist services available for adults who have been sexually assaulted, and signposting someone to these can provide confidential, trained support that a friend or relative cannot. Support centres can explain the referral process, discuss options for talking to the police, and offer resources such as leaflets and posters to read at their own pace. If the situation involves danger or an emergency, urgent help should be sought straight away rather than waiting. Where a risk to a child or adult is present, professional safeguarding and referral pathways exist so that concerns are handled properly and consistently.

Looking after yourself matters too. Supporting someone through a disclosure can be emotionally demanding, and it is reasonable to feel unsure, worried or overwhelmed. If you are unsure how to respond, or if you are unsure whether something you have been told should be reported, you can seek guidance from specialist services confidentially before deciding on next steps. Remember that supporting a friend or relative does not mean taking responsibility for their recovery; your role is to listen, offer practical help, connect them with trained professionals, and check in. That combination of care and appropriate referral can make a real difference.